Yes, it's been a very long time since my last post. I could come up with a list of "good reasons" why I've been remiss in posting anything (travelling for Thanksgiving, travelling for Christmas, last-minute rush-job consulting assignments, blah, blah, blah, etc.) but the truth of the matter is I just lost my focus and got lazy. There were demands on my time but, in fact, I drafted half-a-dozen posts but kept changing my mind about what I wanted to say and got too caught up in saying it "right."
In my meditation group this morning, a thought kept recurring to me and that is that we tend to associate the notion of "developing a habit," with getting stuck in a rut...of doing things we're supposed to do...of mechanically repeating things without thought. A far more empowering view, however, is to substitute "muscle" for "habit." No matter how repetitive or boring it is, we go to the gym regularly (well, at least some of us go regularly), even when we don't feel like it, because we focus on the end-result...whether it's to lose weight, bulk up your muscles, improve your cardio endurance or just plain to feel better on the other side of the workout. When I was a composition student, I wrote...not just thought about but actually sat down and wrote music every single day. Sometimes what came out was awful and I spent the next "sit-down" crossing most of it out but sometimes it was (at least to me) pretty wonderful. Good, bad or indifferent, however, the mere act of creating something every day built the creative muscle. By developing the habit, I developed the ability to write music on demand when necessary and to have the craft necessary to bring my artistic creativity into actuality.
That recollection, not surprisingly, led me to thinking about how long it's been since I'd posted anything here. I have no aim to become a full-on novelist in the closing decades of my life but writing has always been a big part of what I do...everything from the musico-theoretical publications of my academic days to the technical specifications I had to write when I was a software development manager to the white papers, webinars and presentations I have to create in my current professional life. Above all, I actually find it very gratifying. The crafting of an idea, finding the right words to express it, watching those words come into existence on the page and, in some cases, the actual oral delivery of those words are all things that I find very gratifying. And yet, in order to stay facile with the ability to do that, I need to do it on a regular basis. Posting to this blog certainly is not going to change the world (at best, some of the posts might be slightly inspiring to a handful of people). What it does provide, however, is practice. To some extent, practice in the actual craft of writing but, more importantly, practice in building the habit/muscle, practice in being able to do what I said I would do even when I don't feel like it.
That ability to routinely do what you don't feel "inspired" to do spills into all areas of my life. It's the little things like taking the recycling out to the garage now instead of sometime-later-today but also the bigger things like going to see a friend even though you're busy or tired, providing something of extra value to your client even though you know it's completely unexpected or just plain being willing to take a chance trying some new experience in your life even though it seems silly, unimportant or even scary. This blog might not change the world but I find that going the extra distance on those sorts of things frequently does change my life.
Many personal coaches, gurus and other types of trainers will talk about the importance of ritual. For some, that word has religious implications but I think rituals, whether as simple as brushing your teeth before you go to bed, volunteering for a cause you deem worthy or meditating on a daily basis are closely linked to building habits. At one level, there is no difference but, to the extent that "ritual" implies some kind of devotion (not necessarily a religious devotion but "devotion" in the sense of "commitment"), it may be a more powerful way to think of building habits. Whatever you call it, having activities that you commit to perform on a regular basis not only builds facility in that particular activity but builds the muscle for sticking to your commitments, to being true to your word, to being true to your self. In that regard, it's not really important what the habits are. However, if you're not in the habit of establishing habits or rituals in your life, it's probably best to start with those that are easy to stick with. Depending on your disposition, that might mean something easy (like brushing your teeth or walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator), it might mean something with tangible, easily discerned benefits (like walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator!) or it might be something deeply important to you (like volunteering at an animal rescue facility or working for an environmental rights organization). In the Blue Zones Project (also chronicled in the book, The Blue Zones of Happiness by Dan Buettner), researchers have been studying various populations around the world with exceptionally high rates of longevity (and not just longevity but meaningful longevity). Diet and activity show up as recurring factors in the longevity analysis but one of the most commonly recurring themes in populations across the world is that these people have a reason to get up in the morning. For some it's the habit of meeting a certain group of friends every day, for some it's caring for their grand-children or great-grandchildren (and, in some of these cases, the great-grandchildren themselves have already racked up quite a few decades of meaningful life) and for some it's some kind of societal activity in which they routinely participate.
I'm starting to free-associate a bit now so I'll close with one of my favorite quotes:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
(For many years, I (and apparently a boatload of other people) have always attributed this quote to dramatist, poet, humanist, scientist and philosopher, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) but in cutting-and-pasting a copy of the quote just now, I discovered that it is actually a misattribution. Regardless of the source, I still love the quote!)
